Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentine's Day, Mary

Dear Mary,

     I love you. I have been ever since I can remember. I loved you first. I supported you in your every endeavor. The first time you had a crush. The first time you said those three words to him. The first time you got rejected. I never left your side. I formulated happy thoughts and "strong heart" quotes for you as your mantra. I held your heart to catch the imaginary debris as you felt it breaking. I held you together as your body shook with each tear that fell from your eyes. I loved you even when you never returned my feelings. I kept on breathing for you to live and move on. I sat beside you as you bawl your eyes out until you hurt no more.
     Until you found the internet and saw quotes about loving me. I am so happy as I thought I'd have a chance with you. And it was as the articles say. When you told me you love me, it was magical. Such a wonderful thing it is to have my feelings returned. I know you felt it, too. You started singing me praises. You started telling me I'm beautiful and it only strengthened my love for you. There are still times you say mean things to me when the situation calls for it, but I've forgiven you because I know you don't mean it. Every time you look at me and you tell me I can do it, I'm strong and you love me, I cannot contain myself and manifest into a smile that further lightens up your face.
     But I understand you will grow up sooner or later. You will be looking for a person that you feel would complete you. You would think you fall in love but proven wrong by that person, worse getting a third degree. I still don't get why they are not satisfied by the answer, "I love you just because." It's not like they would return the feeling anyway to deserve the explanation. I know it wouldn't be a smooth ride like what those chick flicks and novels taught you. And I feel the dread coming. It's like that time when you have not learned to love me. You'll look at me and tell me I am not capable of being loved because I'm not beautiful enough. That I need to be as slim as those VS angels to have people turning their heads at me. That breaks my heart the most.
     I want to tell you that you need nothing of those because you are never born to please people. I want to let you know you are already complete. Please forgive me for not entertaining any potential mates. I've seen douchebags turn their heads at you but I don't let you notice them because they are not worth it. I want you to know I could not have been more proud of you by surviving years without ever needing a man. He is out there, waiting for you to turn your attention to him. You will never lose me because you are always in my sight. Above all, you are the one I'll ever love the most. Happy Valentine's day.

Truly and Forever Yours,
Self