What makes you less than who you are is not because of external factors, rather what you think of yourself.
It's really annoying that many people have misconceptions about what makes their lives ride a downhill path. That is to say that I was also one of them. Sure, thinking negative tends to attract negative energies and I am not going to start on talking about chi and chakra and all other astrological/horoscopical (new word!) rubbish. But then again, everybody has problems and they have their own unique ways on looking at it. This is my point of view and ignore me if you do think otherwise. If you're not that proud, you may even share your thoughts with me!
I guess it is the same reflex inherent to any human being. We tend to love ourselves too much that we won't let it take the blame. We think of ourselves as achieving the highest form of intelligence since we were made to rule above all other living things. Maybe this is true, maybe this is not. Or maybe it is just me over-thinking. But my point is, I guess we just fail to realize the roots of our problems. We tend to see what is wrong, not the reason why it is wrong.
For instance, I join a community named community e while still a member of community s. Everybody has different opinions of me. Some like me, others don't. Then while learning the community, I also learn its rules. There are loopholes, inconsistencies and some other rules that restrict the freedom I seek. It is fine, I guess. Things like that bound to happen. However, after some time I feel like I am not welcomed anymore. I feel that the rules are burdening me and chaining me. I cannot express myself. I feel less than what I really am. I cannot release my full potential. With these problemsslashcomplaints in my bag of things, I leave the community. I tell the leaders that I feel unwelcomed, and everybody seem to dislike me, and the rules and such choke me and I feel un-free, for lack of better words.
In this case, I am only looking at what the community is at face value. I guess, I do not realize that I should socialize more to gain friends and to remove their bad impressions of me. I do not realize that I should face them not with a facade but of my real persona. I do not realize that I should have sought out the answers and justifications of the rules imposed by the community. That I should have taken the opinions of the superiors, not only the opinions made by myself. Lastly, I do not realize that I should have had an open mind right from the start. After all, communities vary from others. What may be applicable to community s may not be applicable to community e. As simple as that.
Now that I left community e, I go back to community s. Knowing to myself that this community is my real family. That the other community could never compare. I guess I did not really put my heart when I joined community e. That is the bad thing in there. There will be those community leaders I may have hurt due to my choice of wordsslashcomplaints. And as leaders, they cannot force me to continue being in their community if those are what I think of it. But it is certain that I have hurt them. And they might have been annoyed at me as well.
My other point is, I should have gone into a reflective mode, even if for once in a while. Entering a community is different from leaving it. It is all because I am thinking that community e has been detrimental to my freedom of expression when in fact it is only me who thinks that way. That I should have consulted the rules and made do with what I can for this community.
In psychology, what our minds think affects us more than what others do.
