Some Theories Explaining Why We Usually Fall for those who were Taken Already (And its Side Effects)

I finally had the time to poke around this blog...again! I'm still counting my blessings and lost count of it actually. So, time for a new one! I recently found this question bugging me one cold morning in a steamy shower with myself. I thought about my conquests - sounds weird considering I'm a girl - throughout the years and I found out that most of those I fell in like with were actually taken men. There's guy named tooot who studies at tooot. Then this egoistic and airy guy here at the office with the name of tooooot who just can't shut up at how handsome he is. Well, some men are like that.

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Yeah, yeah. I know. Life is hard. Life gives us lemons and I just can't help but ask, WHY?! What did I ever do wrong to receive such fate? However, for about 20 years of living in this shithole called world, I realized I might have theorized some pointers to finally answer that ego-killing, definitely grueling question. And some of its side effects. No, these are all based on my irrelevant opinion. First theory: If there is one thing I noticed in most couples,

1. People are bound to be more radiant when they find the love of their lives.

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Yeah. It's all rainbows and unicorns and dogs and bitches all the time. Nope. Not even an ounce of bitterness here. I know you secretly want to be her,

2. But maybe not as *cough*display.

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Next theory according to my brilliant mind,

3. We are secretly jealous of his 'catch.'

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We tend to be attracted to those claimed already, knowing that they are being valued by someone. But no, you just had to be jealous. Jealous of that girl who saw something in this seemingly good-for-nothing man. The worst case scenario here would be if the man in question is actually a very close friend of yours. And he wants you.and.her.to.be.FRIENDS. NO. 

No matter how nice she may be, or how angelic her face may seem, you just know you despise her deeply. I do believe what they say that a man makes other women be jealous of his girlfriend. And boy, seriously, you're doing it right. I'm so green with envy right now. And of course, you wanted to hold a grudge against him. You wanted to make him feel how stupid and far sighted he is to fail to see you. You wanted to

3. Bawl your eyes out. But you can't. You just can't.

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You have no right. It does not matter if you were always there for him.Throughout his drunken states, bearing his annoying drama regarding this girl he courts, and even becoming a martyr - standing tall and proud while you watch him being taken by another girl

4. - pretending you are very happy for him.

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I totally get your make-face behind. I feel you. However, you still are entitled to some rights in choosing his girl. It doesn't have to be that two-faced cow.

4. And thus, this is your current state.

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Although, it's just inside your head. A place where he would never bother peeking through. And that is just...as melancholic as forgetting your umbrella on a rainy day with your Sunday dress. For the next theory, when he finally notices your change of states - from being the bundle of joy everytime you walk home together to being the saddest heap of junk - and prophetically say, 'there's something wrong with you',

5. You just wanna tell him

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Yeah, congratulations on solving the most complex puzzle ever. Kthnxbye. I wanna be alone. Finally, you just really want to be with him but at the same time, some other bitch woman wanted him, too. It's just a matter of choice for him and so...

6. She ruined everything.

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As in, completely. But you cannot do that, so the only choices for you are to

7. Do nothing and just be a biatch at everything in life - just not to those two or

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8. Cry every night and be a biatch at everything in life. The pain you're suffering is so big it did not fit the post frame.

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But remember, don't get too caught up with him. There will always be someone for you at the right time and at the right place. Besides, there's your family there to love you.

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 Besides, who said we need a man to make it happen?

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Okay, I do.

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A-musings of Trivialities Answered

A while back, I asked myself on how to be mature. 

Is it to develop proper manners? Is it to be able to act cool and collected? Is it to change your point of views in a broader sense?

These are some of the questions I posed on myself. They didn't actually made sense to me at all until such time I just decided that maturity is a resignation of some sort. Though naturally, others will call it acceptance, or coming to terms with responsibility. But I recently saw a photo shared on ShareCatholic's FB page which basically answers my questions.

Food for the Mind III

What makes you less than who you are is not because of external factors, rather what you think of yourself.

It's really annoying that many people have misconceptions about what makes their lives ride a downhill path. That is to say that I was also one of them. Sure, thinking negative tends to attract negative energies and I am not going to start on talking about chi and chakra and all other astrological/horoscopical (new word!) rubbish. But then again, everybody has problems and they have their own unique ways on looking at it. This is my point of view and ignore me if you do think otherwise. If you're not that proud, you may even share your thoughts with me!

I guess it is the same reflex inherent to any human being. We tend to love ourselves too much that we won't let it take the blame. We think of ourselves as achieving the highest form of intelligence since we were made to rule above all other living things. Maybe this is true, maybe this is not. Or maybe it is just me over-thinking. But my point is, I guess we just fail to realize the roots of our problems. We tend to see what is wrong, not the reason why it is wrong.

For instance, I join a community named community e while still a member of community s. Everybody has different opinions of me. Some like me, others don't. Then while learning the community, I also learn its rules. There are loopholes, inconsistencies and some other rules that restrict the freedom I seek. It is fine, I guess. Things like that bound to happen. However, after some time I feel like I am not welcomed anymore. I feel that the rules are burdening me and chaining me. I cannot express myself. I feel less than what I really am. I cannot release my full potential. With these problemsslashcomplaints in my bag of things, I leave the community. I tell the leaders that I feel unwelcomed, and everybody seem to dislike me, and the rules and such choke me and I feel un-free, for lack of better words.

In this case, I am only looking at what the community is at face value. I guess, I do not realize that I should socialize more to gain friends and to remove their bad impressions of me. I do not realize that I should face them not with a facade but of my real persona. I do not realize that I should have sought out the answers and justifications of the rules imposed by the community. That I should have taken the opinions of the superiors, not only the opinions made by myself. Lastly, I do not realize that I should have had an open mind right from the start. After all, communities vary from others. What may be applicable to community s may not be applicable to community e. As simple as that.

Now that I left community e, I go back to community s. Knowing to myself that this community is my real family. That the other community could never compare. I guess I did not really put my heart when I joined community e. That is the bad thing in there. There will be those community leaders I may have hurt due to my choice of wordsslashcomplaints. And as leaders, they cannot force me to continue being in their community if those are what I think of it. But it is certain that I have hurt them. And they might have been annoyed at me as well.

My other point is, I should have gone into a reflective mode, even if for once in a while. Entering a community is different from leaving it. It is all because I am thinking that community e has been detrimental to my freedom of expression when in fact it is only me who thinks that way. That I should have consulted the rules and made do with what I can for this community.

In psychology, what our minds think affects us more than what others do.

Food for the Mind II

Things didn’t turn out the way they were supposed to, but what can you do? You must take life the way it comes at you and make the best of it.

Piscine Molitor Patel from The Life of Pi by Yann Martel

Food for the Mind

It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt