Friday, March 18, 2011

A Window Through Another Persona

     First of all, you may think "What happened?"

     Let me answer your query with a simple smile and a cup of coffee as an introduction.

     I am no more Itinalang Naiisip and Ciel in Wonderland, but more of Crucial Insignificance. For those who do not know me, you have a choice on hitting the back button of the browser and leave in peace, or stick a little longer and snoop around this post.

     To start off, a brand-new blog means brand-new inspirations, well at least for me. With new inspirations, I feel refreshed and energized as I take into account my writing hobby. When I write, I make sure I have a blank slate to write on, in that case, a new notebook. It gives a sense of uniqueness, fulfillment and authority. But let us not stray away from the main topic of this thread. I changed my blog due to the changes that have occurred within the past few months. I seldom change blogs unless there is a need to change, because I am usually too lazy to pick up new templates for my new blog. Ah, yes. The template. For those who have seen my blog prior to this new one, you may notice that what my blog looks and contains reflect my personality. The template was a notebook with vectors and spirals. The posts were a combination of blogs, random thoughts, teasers and the stories themselves. There was no harmony, peace. Everything was in chaos. The blogs were of random sentiments. Well, that was I rewinding for about ten months earlier. Now, as I climbed another rung of the ladder, new principles, manners, codes of ethics were stripped off and forced upon me that caused me to make some drastic change in my personality. Yes, readers. I've been talking about my new personality all the while, not my brand new blog.

     Do remember that even though I have an insufferable measure of vanity (and perhaps, narcissism), I cannot simply stoop so low as to brag and blog about my new blog. What do you care? But I am not implying that I am bragging and blogging about my new personality either.

     I could care less if you have a better one. I am merely informing you and answering the inevitable query.

     My new personality isn't much surprising. In fact, I did not know I have this persona until the moment I reached out to my inner world and saw that the gears of my brain have simply reversed it spin. So, what is with the gloomy personality out of the blue? Dear, first of all, it is not out of the blue. I am rational enough to feel and know that the changes happening to me builds up slowly and bursts out when it reached it apex. Secondly, it is not gloomy. Yes, the template and the aura of this latest post may imply a gloomy atmosphere, but look closer. Use a magnifying glass if it will help you unravel the truth. Crucial insignificance. What is crucial? What about insignificance? Ever wondered why these two words were never used together? Why all of a sudden, a speck of dust from the earth suddenly decided to bring them together? Does the phrase not ring a bell? Yes, you got it. Paradox. More commonly referred to as irony. So, what is the irony? Crucial means critical, imperative, of greatest importance. Together with insignificance which means trivial, they form an irony. Why irony? Ask this yourself: How can a thing of insignificance become crucial?

     For the past few months up to the present, I see myself as a sarcastic being. I have faked smiles and laughter at times without noticing. I have been dealing with an inner turmoil I cannot seem to get a grasp of what it really is. It is more like I am battling in the dark with an invisible enemy. How cool is that. I have lost the light I knew that was once in me. No one would know for sure, but myself and God, with the exception of hypersensitive beings around me. I don't know what happened to that light. Before I left my high school alma mater, she taught me to Walk as a Child of Light, guided by Jesus, the Divine Light. These are the very motto and name of the school. However, I seem to fail her. I feel like an empty shell drifting off a shore after enduring a rough ride with the stormy ocean. Frustration. Maybe that is a reason for this new persona. I am frustrated beyond my control that I did not even decipher the matter with me. Or maybe it is not just simply frustration on random things, rather political things.

     To cut the story, yes, I am frustrated because of political reasons. To add to that, I developed a whole new persona, thanks to them higher-ups. Nothing special, right? Some may say, "get over it, kid. You're not the only one. Most of us ignore them." I respect that response, but it will be pointless to counter it with an argument that goes like, "we cannot ignore them! Now is the time to take an action," for that will be attacked by, "how many times have we said "now?" An action for what? For stopping them who rule with money? Not a chance in a million," statement. If I continued with, "justice shall prevail," the heated conversation will end with a "with money, justice is forever blind and deaf." The end.

     This is what is going on in my little archipelago. It is frustrating to envision a future with a president who smirks and smiles even at the worst of events. He claimed he is not doing such things, but what can the citizens deduce from their own television screens? I am not saying this because I detest the current president, but simply because I do not trust his capabilities, even if he is technically legible to run the country. Yes, he is the ideal president, actually. No records of known graft and corruption during his senate years was one of the causes of his landslide during the election. How I would kill and die for a president like that. However, something is amiss. I cannot feel the president. Physically, yes, but considering the deeper meaning of that statement, you will know. I am not seeking for the president to show his smirking face every second in the television. He has a life and a huge role to play in this country. When I say, to feel someone, it is like to feel his spiritual presence even in his physical absence. The thing with the president, he is physically invisible to me, and spiritually invisible to me as well. Prove me wrong, counter my claims, I could not care. This is my opinion, and we live in a very democratic country.

     He has good platforms, especially the K-12 Basic Education Program. Although, I would like to suggest that he keep it in the attic for the moment, and focus on reviving the economy of the Philippines, now that Japan and several other countries are facing their own demons. Oil price have been increasing, and it really is a bother even if let us say, my parents have a decent job. Eating dinner while Chinese and Filipino suffered inside the memorable bus during the hostage-taking is unforgivable. Denying that he was not there makes it even worse. Did he meet my vision of an ideal leader? Yes, but not quite. The very first trial on his efficiency proved to be a major failure in the Philippine history.

     I am sick and tired of hearing the same news over and over again. I sometimes wish I could just live somewhere in space, out of the chaos and cruelty of the world. Of course, the president is not the only one to blame. There are others, too, but I do not have the time to list them all in here. All I know was that I am sarcastic and gloomy as of now. Hopefully as of now. I cannot believe this is actually happening. Many will disagree with my claims, views, opinions. But I know, somewhere around the planet, there is one or two who share my sentiments.


     For story enthusiasts, please go to To Weave a Web of Stories to find my works of fiction. You are free to comment and criticize, but I am taking your right to flame. Thank you for coming this far. If you would be so kind, may I claim the cup and saucer to be prepared for the next reader?

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